
Madonna
and 22-year-old Brazilian model boyfriend Jesus Luz.
|
Generally speaking,
it is acceptable if the age difference between partners is ten years
or less; but where the difference is more than ten years, such a
liaison is considered a May-December nest: the younger person being
in the “spring” of his or her life (May), while the
older person is in his or her “winter” (December). In
most of these relationships, it is the men who are a lot older than
the women.
In recent times, however, we also find that some women are considerably
older than their partners. Kenyans were shocked when Wambui Otieno-Mbugua,
at 67, married Peter Mbugua, a man 42 years her junior. It was
a scandal in Tom Mboya and Jomo Kenyatta’s country. If their
ages were reversed, very few people would have wagged their tongues.
Some well
known May-December unions include that of Tony Randal and Heather
Harland (50 years); Chuck Norris and Gena O’Kelley (28 years);
Warren Beatty and Annette Bening (21 years); Michael Douglas and
Catherine Zeta-Jones (25 years); and Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn
(35 years). And then there are Larry King and Shawn Southwick
(26 years); Mary Tyler Moore and Robert Levine (18 years); Jerry
Seinfeld and Jessica (18 years); Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
(27 years).
In polygamous
settings, the third, fourth or fifth wife may be 15-30 years younger
than the husband. Cultural and societal expectations were different;
the role and place of husbands and wives were mostly structured
and unquestioned. Today, most women need not marry a grandfather;
they need not be involved in multiple marriages; and they need
not be tied to a marriage that does not fulfill their mental and
sexual needs.
There are
several implications to May-December relationships – implications
that borders on economic, social, and health ramifications. For
instance, older men and women have been telling us, and behaving
as though “age is just a number.” This may be true
considering the fact that some older people actually feel and
behave young and vibrant; while some young people feel and act
old and sluggish.
Realistically,
age and the aging process will manifest itself. In men, the obvious
signs may be erectile dysfunction, shortness of breath, weak knees
and weak back and weak muscles. For some people, some of these
manifestations become apparent a few years before their 60th birthday.
Some men are lucky: they can go on and on and on without much
problem until they waltz into their graves.
But what if
it happens at 60 or earlier and you have a wife who is 20-30 years
younger? Sex becomes a point of contention. Will a 60 year old
man be able to keep up with a 30-40 year old woman -- an age when
most women are just nearing their sexual peak? Bad performance
has a way of shattering a man’s ego, hence; some men now
rely on Cialis, Viagra, and or Levitra. 