Lechics Fashion & Lifestyle Magazine

Pic: Sabella Abidde

Are You Considerably Older Than Your Partner?
By Sabella Abidde

Published 19th Dec 2009

Madonna and 22-year-old Brazilian model boyfriend Jesus Luz.

Generally speaking, it is acceptable if the age difference between partners is ten years or less; but where the difference is more than ten years, such a liaison is considered a May-December nest: the younger person being in the “spring” of his or her life (May), while the older person is in his or her “winter” (December). In most of these relationships, it is the men who are a lot older than the women.

In recent times, however, we also find that some women are considerably older than their partners. Kenyans were shocked when Wambui Otieno-Mbugua, at 67, married Peter Mbugua, a man 42 years her junior. It was a scandal in Tom Mboya and Jomo Kenyatta’s country. If their ages were reversed, very few people would have wagged their tongues.

Some well known May-December unions include that of Tony Randal and Heather Harland (50 years); Chuck Norris and Gena O’Kelley (28 years); Warren Beatty and Annette Bening (21 years); Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (25 years); and Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn (35 years). And then there are Larry King and Shawn Southwick (26 years); Mary Tyler Moore and Robert Levine (18 years); Jerry Seinfeld and Jessica (18 years); Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (27 years).

In polygamous settings, the third, fourth or fifth wife may be 15-30 years younger than the husband. Cultural and societal expectations were different; the role and place of husbands and wives were mostly structured and unquestioned. Today, most women need not marry a grandfather; they need not be involved in multiple marriages; and they need not be tied to a marriage that does not fulfill their mental and sexual needs.

There are several implications to May-December relationships – implications that borders on economic, social, and health ramifications. For instance, older men and women have been telling us, and behaving as though “age is just a number.” This may be true considering the fact that some older people actually feel and behave young and vibrant; while some young people feel and act old and sluggish.

Realistically, age and the aging process will manifest itself. In men, the obvious signs may be erectile dysfunction, shortness of breath, weak knees and weak back and weak muscles. For some people, some of these manifestations become apparent a few years before their 60th birthday. Some men are lucky: they can go on and on and on without much problem until they waltz into their graves.

But what if it happens at 60 or earlier and you have a wife who is 20-30 years younger? Sex becomes a point of contention. Will a 60 year old man be able to keep up with a 30-40 year old woman -- an age when most women are just nearing their sexual peak? Bad performance has a way of shattering a man’s ego, hence; some men now rely on Cialis, Viagra, and or Levitra.





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