By Sabella Abidde
Casual conversations seem to suggest that an increasing number of women are open to polyandry and/or polyamory: the practice of having more than one husband or lover at any given time. Women seem to be saying “what is good for men are also good for women.” But I wonder: with whom have men been playing the field? One understands the role and impact of power, but men have generally done most of what they do because they allow men to be men. African women,
especially the Senegalese, the Ghanaians and Nigerians, seem to
have been involved in such practice for a long time. My attention
was drawn to the sexual freedom of some market women in Lagos
and other African metropolis. It was alleged that they freely
have sex partners, with or without the knowledge or consent of
their husbands. One can only imagine a 50 year old man with a
30 year old wife who may be his third or fourth wife. What time
and energy does he have to meet her sexual needs? She most likely
will find a paramour. On the other hand, it is believed that a good number of African-American women have a ritual about sex. As with some African women, they don’t easily give in to sex. There is drama attached to sex: a wall to climb. An ocean to swim and a mountain to climb. But once all the ceremonies are taken care of, sex becomes them; and they become sex. Whether these assumptions are true or not is not for me to say. I don’t know. |
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